10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

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Check out our guide to throwing the best tantrum of your adult life! You don’t have to be a kid to get some bad attention.

Beer Hoarders

If you happen to be living with someone that you demand attention from, keep a case of beer in your fridge at all times. When it’s tantrum o’clock, carry several beers with you as you retreat to your room. This will ensure that your victim knows that you’re about to get drunk without them, BECAUSE of them.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Double Doors

Slam your door, then walk out as if you forgot something so you can slam it again. Two for the price of one! That’s a total slam dunk tantrum right there. #soproud

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Pretend Move Out

Noticeably and furiously search for a new place on Craigslist in plain view of whoever you think you’re going to upset with that earth shattering news.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Long Distance Cry

Leave the room with your composure in tact. Once you have made a very uncomfortable exit, proceed with loud and dramatic crying. This gives the impression that the crying is more genuine because you really, really tried to hold it in.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Pretend Party Animal

Get dressed up and say you’re going out. Or better yet, don’t say anything at all! Then go to the drug store to kill some time because you don’t have the energy to go out after that massive fit you just threw. It doesn’t matter. You took a selfie in the bathroom. That could be ANY bathroom.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Take Inventory

Always allow your friends and family to borrow whatever they want from you. This will serve as future tantrum collateral. Of course you don’t want to talk about anything rationally! But that doesn’t mean they get to keep your external hard drive— not at a time like this.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Key Strokes of FURY

Type loudly. No matter what device you’re using, typing with intensity is a great way to get them wondering what you’re writing. Hold out as long as it takes until you’re asked about it. Then choose from this set of replies: Nothing. Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t matter. It’s just…whatever..a thing.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Throw a Sub-Status Fit

Sub status your heart out. Anything will do. Lyrics, Youtube videos, clever comments about how you LOVE things you don’t love. It’s called sarcasm, ever heard of it? If that’s not your style, try a sub-look-how-good-my-life-is post. What? You’re happy? You never let haters get you down? What??

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Passive Text-gressive

Avoid eye contact, say that you’re fine, then write out a very proper, very eloquent 6 text message long explanation about exactly how right you are.

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult

Clean Up

Nothing is more terrifying than a person cleaning while they’re angry. What’s going on? Why are they slamming the cabinet doors? Are they washing the dishes or breaking them? Be sure to throw out some personal belongings while you’re at it (baby pictures, poetry notebooks) Now THAT is a great adult tantrum!

10 Ways to Throw a Tantrum as an Adult


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