Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

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You’ve heard about all the areas in which America lags behind. For a change, take a look at all the areas in which Old Glory stands supreme.

Murder and Mayhem

OK, you knew this one was coming. America leads the world in all sorts of crime. We’re No. 1! We’re No.1! When it comes to rape, murder, car thefts and plain-old overall crime no one comes close to our rates of damage and disorder.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Tubbiness

You probably didn’t need us to tell you this, but among developed countries, we’re the most obese. And we’re pretty close to the most obese, even when you count everyone. Fully a third of our residents are obese, a higher ratio than all but a handful of island nations.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Deficit and Debt

If you spent more than you took in and consumed more goods than you made, every year, for decades, chances are good you’d be in the poorhouse by now. Not so the U.S. Our trade deficit, the value of goods imported versus the value of our exports, is nearly $800 billion a year, more than four times higher than our next competitor, Great Britain. Our debt of $17 trillion is about 20 percent of all the debt in the world.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

The Porn Pipeline

Not only are we No. 1 when it comes to producing porn, almost 90 percent of Internet pornography is produced in the U.S. Care to know which state is the biggest per capita consumer of paid pornography? A 2009 study in the Journal of Economic Perspectives says that honor belongs to the very conservative state of Utah.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Hooyah

The American military is by far the most powerful in the world. So it goes with out saying it is the most expensive. The military budget now tops $650 billion annually and that’s not counting Veterans or pension benefits. Of all military expenditures in the world, America is responsible for 40 percent of them and our military budget is about seven times larger than our next competitor, China.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Congrats Grads — Now Pay Up

American college graduates lead the world — in debt. The average graduate now starts looking for a job with an average loan balance of more than $29,000. And that pricey burden is going up an average of 6 percent annually.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Police State

You need a lot of cops to police all that crime and this country has a lot of cops. There are more than a million peace officers for our 300 million residents, by far the most in the world.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Divorce Court

All the stress of American life takes its toll on a relationship. Americans go through almost five divorces per year per 1,000 residents. That’s about double the rate of our neighbors to the north: Canada.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Boob Tube Devotion

Want to take your mind off of all of America’s woes? Head for the television. Most of your compatriots do. We are tied with our British forefathers for most time spent in front of the TV, an average of four hours every day.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?

Pricey Medicine

While America may have crowded emergency rooms and you may be crashing your computer trying to sign up for Obamacare, there is one area where the U.S. rules: most expensive medicine. Americans spend more than $7,000 per person per year on health care, almost exactly twice what the country that is best at delivering medicine spends: The Netherlands.

Hilarious! What Is America Actually The Best at?


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